Earlier this week I wrote about Seraphim, a Greek Orthodox Bishop who made the news recently for blaming – amongst other things – Jewish bankers for the Holocaust.  Surprisingly enough Seraphim’s comments caused a bit of stir in Greece and abroad, and so several days ago the Bishop issued what I presume was an attempt at clarification.

In short order, Serpahim asserts that like any good Christian he loves the Jewish people (seriously: he says “love”.  It’s really quite touching.).  He then explains that his opposition isn’t towards Jews per-say, but rather towards International Zionism, a disingenuous cabal that Seraphim sees extending throughout history from the Sanhedrin (Jewish religious leaders best known to general audiences for their involvement in the killing of a rabble-rousing carpenter from the sticks some 2,000 years ago [yes, that baby-Jesus whose birthday we just celebrated], a murder for which there is a commonly accepted historical record, unlike the 11-million-plus deaths that Seraphim has attributed to the Rothschilds) to the Rabbinical writings of the Talmud, up through the mystical branches of Kabbalism.  Seraphim sees this shadow-network acting in two nefarious ways: first, in always “striving vigorously toward an economic empire set up throughout the world with headquarters in the great land beyond the Atlantic for the prevalence of world government and pan-religion.”  And secondly by turning Jewish religious thought into Satan-worship.  Yes, Satan-worship.

If you’re like me and find yourself scratching your head, let’s take a step back and review: Seraphim’s “clarification” for blaming the Holocaust on Jewish bankers is to tell Jews: I love you, I believe you people are trying to create a world-dominating economic-theocracy, and I also think most of your religious traditions are Satan-worship.  Oh, and for the record, Hitler was really bad too.

It would be very difficult to make this up.

Lastly – as I mentioned in my earlier post, Seraphim was in the news earlier this year picking a theological debate with Elton John, and his recent screeds have put Mel Gibson’s and Mahmoud Ahmandinajed’s anti-Semitism to shame.  However, as this most recent rant includes an attack on Kabbalism, clearly Seraphim’s decided to let it all hang out and is going after the big one: Madonna.  Since the Material Girl and I grew up not far from one another, I offer the following piece of personal experience to Seraphim: surely you think you’re a big, tough Greek man who’s strong enough to take on International Zionism, but everyone knows that you should never, ever, under any circumstances mess with someone from Detroit.  Tread lightly my little Greek friend: the Lady will yogically, mystically fuck your ass up faster than you can say Mayer Rothschild.