WWTDD?

WWTDD?

I’ve long held that the most quotable movie in history is The Big Lebowski, which, if you’re creative enough, has a line for every imaginable situation in life (and isn’t being creative enough really the point, and the challenge, and ultimately, the reward??) To wit:

I ride a motorcycle, and on my way home from work the other night I was stopped at a traffic light. I had flipped the visor on my helmet up for some fresh air. A moment later I heard a voice slurring, Hey motorcycle? Hey motorcycle?

I looked and next to me the shaggy head of a pimply 20-something kid hung out the window of a dark Camry. He was pretty wasted, but not so much that when I turned his direction he didn’t perk up.

Where the prostitues at? he asked. Where they at? Huh motorcycle? Where the prostitues at?

It was late and I didn’t want any trouble. I ignored him and looked forward. The light continued to glow red.

Hey motorcycle—I’m drunk. You hear me motorcycle? He pointed both his thumbs into his chest. Me—I‘m drunk.

He did appear inebriated, and I nodded gently in affirmation.

Are you the prostitues? he asked. Huh, motorcycle, are you the prostitues?

As far as I knew I was not the prostitutes. I continued to say nothing.

The kid leaned over inside the car and mumbled something to the driver, then stuck his head back out the window.

Hey motorcycle, he called with a new vigor in his voice, I’ll suck your cock for a quarter.

I couldn’t ignore that one. I started to laugh.

He eyed me as seriously as his fading eyes would allow. A quarter, he repeated. Huh motorcycle? I’ll suck your cock for a quarter. What d’you think?

It seemed like a reasonable price. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any change on me. But that didn’t matter because The Dude was right there beside me, and any true Lebowski-fan’s mind will have already whirled to the scene when he’s propositioned by Bunny while Brandt tries to tug him away.

I looked at the kid and yelled, I’m just gonna go find a cash machine… 

The light turned green. I kicked into gear and drove away into the night.

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