Screaming About Nothing

Screaming About Nothing

I spend the majority of my days with two cats, Jerry and Sterling. They’re generally charmingly weird companions, though I’ve recently noticed that anytime I go near the kitchen, for any reason, Sterling follows me. The reason he follows me is simple: the...
Don’t Blame the Beans

Don’t Blame the Beans

A metaphor, because sometimes they’re fun: You need to eat. You go to your fridge and find: OPTION #1: Leftover three-bean salad your wife made a week ago. It smells awfully funky and the beans are covered in a viscous, smeary goop. OPTION #2: Leftover chicken...
God Help Us

God Help Us

Some admittedly limited reflections on the 2024 Presidential debate, written in real time as the debate occurs: 6:02PM — I realize I have more mustard options on the shelves of my fridge than I do choices for President of this country. 6:03PM — I question who this...
Use the Machine, Dummy

Use the Machine, Dummy

I was hand-washing some dishes the other day when I began to wonder, Why? Why am I washing dishes by hand when we have a perfectly functional dishwashing machine? We already own the dishwasher plus the soap needed to run it, the machine is conveniently located...