Use the Machine, Dummy

Use the Machine, Dummy

I was hand-washing some dishes the other day when I began to wonder, Why? Why am I washing dishes by hand when we have a perfectly functional dishwashing machine? We already own the dishwasher plus the soap needed to run it, the machine is conveniently located...
Kludging It

Kludging It

In the February, 1962 issue of Datamation magazine, the would-be computer designer could learn from J.W. Granholm, an esteemed engineer with The Boeing Company and General America Corporation, about “one of the most beloved words in (modern computer) design...
Conserving Time

Conserving Time

It’s the same thing every spring — on the second Sunday in March we dutifully set our clocks forward and “spring ahead” into Daylight Savings Time, after which we all spend the next several days in a tired, confused and generally discombobulated miasma. After...
As Free as the Wind Blows

As Free as the Wind Blows

I recently read an article about Chad Carswell, a 38yo man in North Carolina who’s awaiting a kidney transplant. While donor organs have been found that could save Carswell’s life, hospitals are presently requiring all transplant patients be vaccinated...
Thanks, Suckers

Thanks, Suckers

I went to the dentist last week for the first time in over a decade. Fortunately, I have only one (1) small cavity, a fact my mother will be very proud to read, unlike the remainder of this essay. To determine the quality of my teeth, x-rays were...
128th St

128th St

(A version of this was published on the website Hard Crackers.) Located on the corner of 128th St and Aurora Avenue are a Vietnamese noodle house, a Chick-fil’A, a used car lot, and a construction supply company that doubles as a used car lot, the latter presumably...
Pissing Into The Wind

Pissing Into The Wind

Urolagnia. From the Greek: ouron = urine + lagneia = sexual lust. Commonly known as the Golden Shower. Sexual arousal involving urine. Peeing on; being peed on; becoming turned on at the sight of pee. A fetish. What is called, in psychiatric literature, paraphilia: a...
Glowing Like the Metal on the Edge of a Knife

Glowing Like the Metal on the Edge of a Knife

On January 6th, right wing insurgents stormed the Capitol building in Washington, D.C. The Times recorded some interesting reflections from a police officer who was on the scene: They (the insurgents) went and did what others have only talked about. And it’s not...
The Serious Business of Human Flourishing

The Serious Business of Human Flourishing

A couple years back a member of our staff playfully rewrote a famous Biblical passage dealing with the punishment of sinners.1 Somehow our essay ended up in the inbox of Senator Mike Lee (R, Utah). This isn’t surprising, for in addition to being a stalwart...