Many Americans are having difficulty understanding the executive orders of our new President. We’ve created a simple, fun and easy way to comprehend the President’s true meanings. 

What you’ll need: 

1: Scissors

2: Hat,

3: @realDonaldTrump Twitter feed.




1: Print off tweet from @realDonaldTrump account.

2: Cut out each word in the tweet.

3: Place each cut-out word into hat.

4: Shake hat.

5: Remove words one by one from hat.

6: Arrange words in order removed.

7: Read the President’s true desires.

Example #1:

When Trump tweets:

If the ban were announced with a one week notice, the “bad” would rush into our country during that week. A lot of bad “dudes” out there!

now reads,

announced lot during our week out

the notice

A country that ban “dudes” would

rush into “bad”!

If with one were a bad there.

the week of

Here we have a clear and concise summary of Trump’s views on immigration: “A country that ban ‘dudes’ would rush into bad!” All of which ties into Trump’s long-standing support of immigrants, a position he’s consistently reiterated since construction began on Trump Tower in the 80’s.

Example #2:

Trump’s tweet,  

Fake news – a total political witch hunt!


hunt political witch news!

a total Fake

Here we can clearly see Trump’s concern with witches. Too many news reports about witches are “a total Fake,” obscuring the truly concerning facts about real witches. Trump is clearly indicating that we as a country remain vigilant in our defenses against witches, which is why he has proposed to build a wall with Mexico. It’s true that witches can fly, but insiders anticipate Special Forces strikes across Central and South America to remove all brooms from those lands by 2018, effectively grounding their witch populations. Additionally, Trump’s strong stand against witches explains his willingness to grab women by their pussies, as everyone knows that differences in female genitalia are how to distinguish witches from otherwise normal women. 

Example #3:

When Trump tweeted the following,

In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally

we can now read,

I, popular winning

illegally deduct people


College to landslide millions in addition


who voted

Electoral of vote

a you if In

the the

“The college to landslide millions.” An inspiring summation of the President’s views on education. Beltway experts predict that once the witch-preventing wall is completed, and every American woman has had her pussy properly grabbed to detect for latent witchiness, Trump will finally acknowledge that his nomination of Betsy DeVos  was in fact the result of losing a fraternity prank to Vladimir Putin.

Example #4:

Trump’s tweet

The American dream is back. We’re going to create an environment for small business like we haven’t had in many, many decades


to dream is American

many decades haven’t had environment 

going back

we’re like the many

for an in

we business create small

“To dream is American” — finer words haven’t been uttered since Jesus dreamed the original American dream. Here we see President Trump acknowledging that despite his many huge successes, the best business can do is “create small” for our struggling country, while revealing that the true focus of his administration will be upon Americans who for “many decades haven’t had environment.” Expect a big push in support of environment in the coming four years.