It’s been a little while since I’ve used this space: I took a brief late fall foray back to the Midwest and simply haven’t gotten back into the swing of things since. While I’ve been quiet there have been plenty of others making noise in the comments section of this site.
The feedback that’s piled up is what any reasonable person would call Spam, and the mail program through this site automatically filters the comments as such. I, however, take a more favorable view of such throwaways, finding in them a certain bemusing and welcome pablum that only makes me smile, and in lieu of sharing my own thoughts today I thought it’d be more interesting to proffer some of the comments I’ve recently received. Most of these offer a running lesson in the ongoing creative shaping of the English language, and as such I reprint them verbatim.
- Roseanna says in a slightly disappointed tone, “Great article but it didn’t have eervhyting—I didn’t find the kitchen sink!” Our editorial staff promises to include a variety of sinks in future correspondence.
- Ireland comments, “Reading this makes my decisions eisaer than taking candy from a baby.” Our staff unequivocally believes that taking candy from babies is, while cruel, nevertheless justified given all the crying, shitting, snotting, and general annoyances infants can make in public spaces.
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- Jaundalynn notes, “I’m out of league here. Too much brain power on dipslay!” Aw shucks—you’re making us blush.
- Wise Kaylynn shares, “So much info in so few words. Totlsoy could learn a lot.” We agree and have notified the Tolstoy estate; revisions of War & Peace and a new, happier ending for Anna Karenina should be forthcoming in the new year.
- Turk comments, “I could watch Schniedlr’s List and still be happy after reading this.” We scratch our collective heads.
- Kids Boots on Sale leaves us confused by stating, “I really desire I hadn’t witnessed this particular as I want only one now!”
- Sailor says, “Back in school, I’m doing so much lrenanig.” Our staff encourages Sailor to seek out an English tutor.
- Cheap Kids Short Uggs finds in our writing, “This is a classic genuinely excellent evaluation for me, ought to acknowledge which you are between your greatest writers I actually saw.Thank you for writing this educational article.” We recommend the author team up with Sailor and split the cost of English lessons.
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